Here I sit with a million things to go through and pack and get done all in efforts to leave for a trip; all the while two little words keep popping back into my head as I contemplate God's leading and the whole idea of following Him and what it means and how it's done. Oh, the two words: wild abandonment. I forgot where the words exactly came from (something my dad was telling me about, Im sure); but Im certain of where the idea comes from: the Gospels. Jesus encouraged wild abandonment. He instructed each of the disciples with a different set of two words: Follow me. He didn't tell them to check in with their families first. He didn't ask them to rationalize what He was asking. He didn't hope that they'd choose after finding which way would make the most sense. He simply asked them to follow Him. The trip that I'm packing and preparing for is one that I've had planned ever since a good friend of mine asked me to be in her wedding. The wedding is this week-end and Im getting all together so that I can be her sidekick for the week-end AND explore Moab with my brother for a couple days prior. One might wonder why that would have me concerned about wild abandonment.
Heres how the story goes: There hasn't been any huge plans for my summer. Just to work my same ol' job in the same ol' town. I felt God leading me to quit that job as I applied and was interviewed for another. Here I am half way through the summer with a new job that I still have yet to start, no new adventures, and wondering if what I've been doing is God's prep work for something bigger and better or if it's me missing the boat and missing God's direction all together. Final arrangements were made over the phone with my brother as to where to meet and when and what we'd be doing in just two short days (yea!).
Then a side note comment from him: the camp in Cali that he just got finished working at for a week (the same camp that my mom's working at for the summer) is looking for students to fill several different positions. It would be fun, but still didn't seem feasible as I've already mentioned--the summers half way through. And as the evening continued, God's voice seemed to get louder in response to my doubts: Trina, the summer's only half way begun.
So I pulled out a piece of paper to figure out some of the logistics to see if God would really uproot my life (maybe uproot's not a good choice of words, as I have nothing to uproot). The exact amount that I could make for the remainder of the summer at camp is the highest possible I could earn if I stressed and overworked myself here in the middle of nowhere. Coincidence? Only in a life that doesn't accept God. Then, of course, my mind runs to all my stuff here and what I'd do with it and what about my monthly bills and what about... Another response from God? Always. Trina, what about wild abandonment? What about when you gave your life to me and said you'd follow me anywhere? You ready to live up to that? Because I'm ready to take you on the adventure of your life!
It's been a few short hours since the conversation that started it all took place. My mom's in a meeting with someone to determine my destiny for the remainder of the summer as I finish up these ramblings on wild abandonment. My mind wonders back to what I need to pack for a week of camping, running errands with a busy bride, and dressing up to stand in front and show my support of two dear friends. Further in the back of my mind are thoughts of what needs to be done should God lead me to California before I'm ready to go. And at the forefront of my mind? The realization that I've been ready for such events ever since I gave my life to God and said that I'd follow Him anywhere.